If you are a mom, you must have experienced “Mom Guilt” sometime or the other. If you feel guilty about something that you are actually doing wrong, then it’s not mom guilt. It is a useful kind of guilt to alert you and motivate you to improve your parenting.
However, if you experience guilt over things that you are doing right as a mom and shouldn’t be guilty about, but still you feel guilty just because you are a ‘mom’, then this is what mom guilt is. And it is definitely not a useful kind of guilt in any way. Such kind of unnecessary guilt experience is quite common for all kinds of mom (whether working moms, home moms or working from home moms). In spite of all the lifestyle differences, if there is one thing which unites all these different kind of moms, then it is Mom Guilt.
But, do not panic. There are ways to deal with this kind of misplaced guilt:
Ask yourself questions
It is human nature to inflate things much bigger than they actually are when the things go wrong. If your child has caught a cough, then surely it is a hassle especially when you are a working mom, but know that it is just a cough! It is important for you as a mother to remind yourself that you are doing all right. Do not feel bogged down with blame. The world continues to move regardless of any problems and you should also continue to move forward unaffected by what happens.
Remember we all make mistakes
Okay, so you have made a mistake but it was not intentional. No one here is perfect and blaming yourself as if you should have been won’t do you or your child any good. Mistakes often are your best teachers. So whenever things go wrong, instead of pulling the blame game yourself, learn the lesson. Analyze your mistake and the situation so that you could avoid it in case it happens the next time.
Know that everything is not in your control
There come many circumstances in life where we can blame ourselves as much as we could, but there isn’t anything that we can do about it. When we can’t change the situations, worrying about them is unhealthy. Sometimes, you need to accept the fact that no matter how hard you try, everything is not in your control. So, just letting it go is the best option.
Give yourself credit
Often it happens that we are so busy in playing the role of being a ‘mom’, that we forget to give ourselves credit for every good thing we did. Have a look through the last few days and you’ll get to see all the good that you have done. Holding your child all night as he cried, waking up early to feed him and many more things besides these.
Mom Guilt is a real thing. One must know that blaming yourself over and over again will only prevent you from enjoying motherhood. So, just stop setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and learn things in the process of becoming a good mom.